My bare feet touch the ground softly, and my thoughts swirl. It’s dark, but lit by the moon. I steal away to the river and sit, staring out at the water. There’s a slight breeze, cold, but that doesn’t matter. What is cold to a few minutes of peace? A few minutes of freedom? A few minutes to imagine myself into the girl I used to be.
But I’m not a girl anymore, even though I am but sixteen. For I am married. You can’t be a girl when you’re married. At least, that’s what my parents tell me anyway. My parents tell me a lot of things. They were the ones who explained to me the rules of my religion. Rules which clearly stated, they said, that I had to have an arranged marriage.
But I don’t understand. Marriage to me brings to mind the words of love. Trust. Compassion. Not arranged. The wedding day should be filled with love, not with solemn faces. On the wedding night the bride should be celebrating with her husband and her family. Not sitting by a river at midnight, in a flimsy white nightgown and bare feet, while her husband snores in a house a mile away.
The smoothness of the water calms me and my agitated mind. But, oh, what I would do to slip off my clothes and go swimming! I’d swim until I found my soul mate, someone who would take me away from rules and a husband who I didn’t relate to, to a magical land where everyone can do as they please.
Maybe he’d be a merman.
I tear my mind away from my daydreams. I think about the day I’ve had. How everyone had gasped when I refused to do the ‘Kiss the bride’ bit. I don’t care. And I don’t understand how my parents can think its okay to commit a sign of love with a person you don’t.
The breeze picks up his pace, and blows flower petals to me, which get caught in my hair. I shake them out, sighing. I guess it was time to go to home to my husband.
So I stand up, smoothing out my nightgown. Then I blow hundreds of kisses to the ripples in the water, because it is the only thing I have ever truly loved.
I can’t change the situation I’m in. But I can truly say I have now found peace in myself.
What do you think?
From The Girl With The Notepad :)