Monday 22 August 2011

Smile!

It's my first ever blog! Everyone's always going on about how cool blogging is, so I thought I'd give a try. I love writing, so this blog is going to be filled with stories and stuff. I'd love to do something to do with writing when I'm older.
Anyway, I'm going to start with a short story. It's called Smile!

I sat, hunched over my Starbucks coffee, a book in my hand. I was pretending to read it. The book was only there as a disguise for my real activity to pass the time: people watching. Sounds boring, I know, but you'd be surprised of the variety of people that come into Starbucks on a breezy summer afternoon.
So anyway, there I was, watching a guy trying (and failing) to catch the attention of the pretty waitress, when the door burst open, letting in sunlight. I turned to see two girls come in, and blink momentarily when the darkness of Starbucks hit them compared to the sunshine outside. I watched as they walked over to the counter. After a while it was clear to me that they were sisters.
The older sister had dark outlined eyes and thick, heavily straigthened hair. She had on a pretty blue dress and golden gladiators covered her feet. She was gorgeous. Whereas the younger sister, she wasn't gorgeous. But, she was... interesting. There was something about her that made you want to look at her. Dark curls clustered around her small face. She had chestnut eyes and a sweetly pointed nose, and she wore a simple white dress.
They sat down at the table near me, and sipped their drinks, chatting away. Suddenly the younger sister's mobile went off. She gazed at the screen for a few seconds. And a blush creeped into her cheeks. She smiled.
At that exact moment, out of the corner of my eye I saw my watch, telling me it was time to go. So I gathered my things and stepped into the sunlight, leaving the sisters behind, but still thinking about that girl's smile. It stayed in my mind and bugged me like anything. Finally, I stopped walking and took out my phone. I dialled a number, spoke for a few minutes, and then went on my way.
Today, for the first time in years, I was going to see my dentist.

That was it! I know it's not that good, but hey, I'm only practising! I'd love some comments to tell me how I can improve!
Bye for now....
From The Girl With The Notepad :)

6 comments:

  1. Hello Girl with the notepad. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Are you from Malaysia? Btw, you can go to my personal blog www.piecesofheaven.blogspot.com too if you like :) Writing is an awesome past time. I actually do freelance writing and part of my job is to actually write! :)

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  2. Actually I'm from England. Thanks for commenting! Will definetley check out your blog. x

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  3. ehm... Well I'm facing a dilemma. Because you see, I don't know how... mean, I guess... to be about this. You asked for constructive criticism, but... how critical do you want me to get?

    I love giving criticism. I really do. But I also don't want to hurt your feelings.

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  4. I don't mind, I love writing, but it doesn't mean I don't want to improve! Do you really hate my writing?
    x

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  5. you know, I thought I had posted a comment on this post before, but I guess it didn't go though lol. what I had said was that, this is a good story with like a quirky twist, and that I think it would be really great for some type of dental hygiene commercial! :)

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